An arcade video game come to life after mercilessly defeating those playing it, and tears apart people and parking meters to survive. The best cop in Miami, the Kung Fu Master, kills it (don’t worry, the dog doesn’t die, it just gets a huge middle finger and a digital “fuck you”) and then hacks his way back in time to kill the worst villain of all time- the Kung Furher. He fails initially, but luckily his his partner, TriceraCop, and fellow cop Hackerman, his friends from the Viking age, including Thor, and the laser raptor come to help him fight the Nazi regime.
You can’t picture that, can you?
That’s ok, because there is actually a short film that covers that entire scenario, and much, much more.
Kung Fury is a 30-minute, over-the-top cop drama, based on those from the 80s. Produced by a studio called Laser Unicorn, and backed over 300% on Kickstarter, director David Sandberg released this film on May 28, 2015, after more than a year of production. And it did not disappoint. From start to finish, I was both in stitches laughing and also teetering on the edge of my seat, wondering if Kung Furher would ever be defeated. And also, David Hasselhoff makes an appearance, and let’s be real, has David Hasselhoff ever been in a bad movie? (Oh sorry, yes). (But this isn’t one of them, I promise).
Now I know you have a number of questions for me. Like, “I’m just a normal person, will I be able to handle the amount of cool in this movie?” And the answer is, yes, it will take a lot of perseverance, but yes. “I’m really into the Marvel Film Universe, and you said Thor was in this film, how does it stack up to Marvel’s Thor?”Let me tell you something, Chris Hemsworth wishes he played Thor in this movie. Like, Marvel’s Thor hardly stacks up to half of Kung Fury‘s Thor. And as for the rest of the Avengers? If they, combined, had half the martial arts skills of Kung Fury, there wouldn’t even be a series of movies about them.
“So you’ve completely sold me on this movie, where can I see this masterpiece of a short film?”
The good news (as if this all hasn’t been good news) is that it’s available for free on YouTube, and for free download on iTunes. You can also get some sick merch from their official website (as well as a vinyl of the film soundtrack, which includes the song “True Survivor” by David Hasselhoff himself).