Seeing family this holiday season? Get ready for the verbal assault of questions that attempt to delve into your personal life! Now, I know your dear aunts are most likely only trying to make polite small talk with you, as they don’t understand your other interests- like improv, craft beer, or Paleo. Nevertheless, ye ol “Are you seeing anyone?” question can get quite old. And how exactly are you supposed to answer it when you’re single af? Here are some suggestions:
“So, are you seeing someone special?”
- A1: “Let me take down your number- when I am seeing someone, you’ll be the first to know ;)”
This makes Aunt Jean feel extra special while slightly confused. Excellent!
- A2: “Are you still seeing your ex-husband?”
Answering a question with a question! Great diversion!
- A3: “Yes. As a matter of fact, I happen to have many suitors.”
Make sure you say this in your most faux regal voice possible. Letting Grandma Ethel know you’re a proper ho. So Elegant.
- A4: “Nah, I stopped seeing my therapist after my insurance dropped mental health.”
Coming out to your parents about your depression while simultaneously critiquing mental health care? Perfect.
- A5: “Yes! Me and [insert select 1st cousin name here] have been seeing a lot of each other lately!”
Do your relatives pick up on sarcasm? This is a wonderful way to find out.
- A6: “Not really, with all the great memes coming out, I’ve been really busy.”
Granted, you might be actually really busy with a full time job, night classes, friends, and multiple hobbies, but memes are something simple you can explain. And then it’s a perfect segue to introduce your dad to Evil Kermit. Lif AF.
- A7: “Actually, ever since I found out how many strands of HPV there are, I’ve starting wearing more and going out less.”
Slightly true. Slightly gross. And subtly referencing Drake. WIN.
- A8: “No”
Just keep in short and sweet. Meghan Trainor that ish.